The One(s) That Got Away: A Story of Irony

Situational Irony

noun

irony involving a situation in which actions have an effect that is opposite from what was intended , so that the outcome is contrary to what was expected.

By now it’s been established that I have a thing for Home Goods. Oh, and did I mention that I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter in TJ Maxx? I should really be their company mascott, and wear clothes made out of luxurious throw blankets and fake orchids in my hair.

Anyway…

The first piece of irony in today’s tale was that I went to Home Goods in order to receive money. Did you catch that? Not to spend? Not to die over a furry pillow. But to get a credit. And for the not-so-exciting items as suction cup towel holders that didn’t stick to my tile. And while I did end up buying one thing (which I will show you when I show you my living room, but it’s prettttty awesome), I still walked out of the store with a Home Goods merchandise credit card in my hand. That, friends, is the definition of an outcome that is contrary to what was expected.

But the greater irony was that my other objective in my trip to Home Goods was to feature some items that I thought were amazing but could or would not buy for one reason or another.

For example, I thought this lamp would make an incredible statement. It looks very high end, came with a mate and I think is an example of a Home Goods “hit”. However, the only room in my house where it would fit is my (not yet pictured) living room and we really don’t need a table lamp. Even though my decorating heart hurts a little looking at this picture and knowing that it isn’t mine.

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I thought these guys were super cool, as well. And I can think of a million places to put them in my house, but zero reasons to justify the purchase. So I had to move on. unnamed-2

This dog. I have been coveting this for weeks. I have been coveting so long that I knew him when he had a mate. Now he’s alone and doesn’t have a furrever home and I want to adopt him but he is $69.99 and that cannot be justified at this time. Still. He is the man. Or dog. Whatever.

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And as I continued to peruse the aisles, thinking, truly, of the post I would write about “the ones that got away”, I saw a few more really cool animal things and went to grab my phone to snap a hasty pic when….

my phone was nowhere to be found. It was not in my jacket pocket. It was not buried in the bunting of my son’s car seat. It was just gone. I was more freaked out at the notion that I would lose all of these pictures than the idea that perhaps I’d been pick pocketed, but I stayed calm as I had my mom (my ever faithful HG shopping compadre) dial my phone incessantly. Until someone answered. She had heard it ringing and found it on a shelf.

My bad.

So my phone was quite literally the one that got away.  Irony. A situation in which actions have an effect that is opposite from what was intended.

But, as they say, all’s well that ends well. I don’t have my tall golden dog, but I have my phone. And they say that irony makes for a good story.

So I’ll cut my losses and stick with that. That and a $9.76 credit to my favorite store.

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